How To Feel Confident and Sexy When You Feel Old, Fat and GrossHow To Feel Confident and Sexy When You Feel Old, Fat and Gross

Give yourself a compliment on your appearance.
Every. Single. Day. Every morning when you’re getting ready, note one thing that is awesome about your appearance: Your pretty teeth. Long eyelashes. Shiny hair. Round booty. Lovely toes. Great style. Perfectly arched eyebrows.

Give yourself a compliment on YOURSELF every single day.
That you’re a fun mom. You killed the presentation. A good listener. A friendly neighbor. A thoughtful friend. A funny lunch companion. Make a mean roast chicken. Have an eye for color in home decor.

Think to times you adored another person’s body, in all its human splendor, because you adored him.

His flabby tummy. Bald head. Love handles. Limp dick. Pock-marked skin. You and your human body are just as lovable, too.

Dress up and look your best every single day.
This should not take you less than 20 minutes, but will include pretty hair, makeup, and clothes you feel great in. If it takes more than 20 minutes, get a new hairstyle and check out some videos on quick makeup.

Fake it till you make it.
Literally, pretend that you feel sexy and confident until you actually do.

Make eye contact with an attractive man, even if inside you are absolutely going to die a thousand painful deaths.

Strut into a meeting in which you are intimidated with your shoulders back and head held high.

Call a meeting with someone who scares the crap out of you.

Ask for the promotion as if you know you’ll get it.

Reach out to a guy on the dating site ignoring any nasty murmurs in your mind that suggest he is out of your league or will reject you.

Just go about your life as if you are the confident, sexy woman you want to be.

Note someone in your life who walks about as if they are confident and sexy all the time.


Fact: They are faking it at least some of the time, too.

When I was in college and finding my own sexuality, I read a book in the cafe/bookstore where I worked about ‘How to Make Man Crazy In Bed” or somesuch. In the forward, the author recounted how when her circle of girlfriends went out, one woman always got all the attention from men when. The other women couldn’t figure it out — after all, their friend was heavy and not particularly pretty. So they asked her secret. “I know I’m not a natural beauty,” the woman said. “But before I walk into a bar or club, I tell myself: ‘You are the hottest woman in there.’ I believe it, and men then do, too.”

Have sex with yourself all the time.
At least twice per week, masturbate. Maybe you invest in a toy or two, check out some porn or erotica. Learn what turns you on. Get your sexy hormones flowing through your veins, and sexy thoughts flowing through your mind.

Consider therapy.
Serious self-images are usually rooted in old trauma. Never be ashamed to get the help you need.

Just get out there already


Thinking about dating after divorce and babies can be beyond daunting.

After I stopped nursing (a blissful period during which my round hips narrowed, my small tits swelled, and my acne-prone skin cleared and glowed), it has been all downhill for this bod.

A newly poofy stomach, C-section scar and boobs that would not stop lactating — all while my thighs grew increasingly gooey.

But once out on the dating scene, I got over it quickly.

That I don’t look like Heidi Klum or Kim Kardashian (that butt, I mean, really) has zero to do with my ability to find really amazing sex (keep reading) and love.

Your body has absolutely nothing to do with your ability find a man to adore you and enjoy mind-blowing sex.

No matter what said body may look like.